Ayanda Billie, nihilistic bees and the albatross keeper

You’re fog. You’re a psychoanalyst. You’re a cell, 

a wilderness that knows to formulate the razor sharp 

reckoning of night feeding, swimming in the abyss of 

the lake with your tongue of grief and I look to your 

future and the steps you have taken with tokenism, with 

certainty. I find this stressful. I have taken to write 

in detail about the snakes that meditate in the sun. Let 

us wait, demonstrate a force for good. The day must 

need repair. You navigate the game world. I consult the 

gravitas of the day, the utility of humans, the function 

of wildflowers. What do you know of the arithmetic? Of Jung 

and the leaves of rubbish stumbling before you? Can 

you fix that muck? Poet, I want to make the world better, 

set you a task, reconfigure the aims of the world in 

front of me. The phoenix burns us. I don’t want to think 

of mindless conjecturing. All I see are problems worthy of 

investigation. I want choice. Poet, what is pain, the subject

matter found in the atlas and the voiceless rabbit, the 

rusty nail at the bottom of a bucket, the concept of suffering 

branching out in seismic overdraft. The light has gone cold, chased

out. Random driftwood is found at the end of the sea.

I am waiting for the monster to eat me in the darkness.

The birds shriek in the backyard in need of the moonlight 

that tours around the world. The shroud is inspired  

where it meets the horizon. The sun bends in its despair 

and I put it back together. It’s a strange continuity. Its 

neurology is not working right. We must kill it. The rough

spark. Do you know what the appropriate response is? 

To meet the braver, hypothetical. Look at the miserable 

sharks. See how they ably count sheep in this hard life. 

I admire the albatross keeper. I take the windswept eagle

sham, my common humanity, Adler’s school of thought,

the potential for power, the positioning of the elk’s turning 

point, the function of nihilism lecturing to the milk-fed 

vision of the universe within me. Tell the truth in your ignorance, 

the poet tells me from his university, extracting laws, order 

from energetic chaos. I am religious. I obtain functionality from 

nature’s plant sap, unfurling the tragedy from the finite road 

that knows its determining limits. I don’t know if you 

have nerves, the capacity for bliss or joy, the character 

that makes up the abstract me is something that is undefined.  

To care for egoic self. Achebe, Soyinka are champions. 

We push ourselves out against the world informed by the 

unknown code in genes. I search for footprints in the river.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *