Photo credit: Premium Times
Nigerians have various interesting records. I’m surprised that the publishers of the Guinness Book of Records are yet to give the Nigerian people an award for being a people that have set the highest number of records.
I hope they aren’t trying to be like the organisers of the whistle blower policy who insisted that the guy must go to Aro or Yaba apa osi, both are famous psychiatric facilities, before he gets his millions.
Let’s start with religion, there’s no gainsaying the fact that Nigerians are the most religious people on mother earth.
Another record is that Nigerians are the most godless people on earth. I know Nigerians living in Nigeria do not need to be convinced. They are living with the various ills taking place in the country.
By the way, added to the fact that Nigerians are the most religious on earth is the other belief that Nigeria has the highest number of churches per kilometer on earth.
Of course, it is a given that Nigerians are the happiest people on earth. If no less a personality than the great Africanist, Fela Kuti, can wax a record titled, ‘Shuffering and shmiling’, it is more or less a fact.
Nigerians are also a group of educated people with the highest number of illiterates. I’ll use Abeokuta where I reside as an example. In spite of the great number of educated people we have in this city, people hardly respect elementary traffic rules. If you happen to be at a zebra crossing and you stroll across the road expecting vehicles to stop for you, OYO, that is, you are on your own. Much more serious infringements of the law are committed in every other part of the country on a daily basis.
Another one is whether or not Nigerians are the dumbest people on earth. We are so many and we allow a minute percentage of our population to be lording it over us. At one time, it was the military. Now, we have civilian masters.
Nigerians have set another record in the oil industry. We produce crude oil and export it. We now import refined petroleum, diesel, kerosene, and other by products. We’re thus making money flow around the world by this our peculiar wisdom.
We should be given an award for keeping the world a global village. You see, if we refine our oil here, the economies of the countries that refine for us may not be the best for it.
There are talks that government is trying to stop the importation of rice in favour of local production and sales. That is good but it might disrupt our record of being the highest importer of rice.
Look around you, other records are being set on a daily basis. For instance, the Nigerian Senate will certainly set another record if the singing senator goes ahead to release his, ‘A je ku iya’ CD.
In the area of greeting people, Nigerians are not doing too badly. In other climes, it is at the year’s end that they greet people, ‘Happy New Year!’
However, since surviving each day in Nigeria might be a record on its own, we now have greetings like,
How was your night?
Happy new day!
Happy new week!
Happy new month!
E ku recession o!
E ku resignation! etc, etc!
Don’t you you think the Guinness people will be sueable if they persist in their non recognition of Nigeria as the country with the highest number of records?
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