I understand the federal government is determined to increase the prices of alcoholic drinks and tobacco products.
I know that must be a plan of the wicked to deprive those who would always resort to the last base or last claro in the case of cigarettes and the never ending last bottle in the case of alcoholic drinks of what’s theirs.
Incidentally, for those of us who can’t do without our lager, the last bottle might extend to sixth bottle. You know, one thing would always lead to the other. By the way, I always pride myself as a disciplined lager drinker.
When a person reaches my age, it will be suicidal to be lying about one’s habits. It’s one of the things that cost me a job. But then, I didn’t say I was going to become a bishop.
Sorry for the diversion. You’ll read the story of my job loss sometime in the not too distant future.
When government increases the price of alcoholic drinks and tobacco products, what does it want the poor people to use in whiling away the time again? You see, when one is not working or is under employed, the cigarette is used as a sympathiser.
When one thinks of the amount of monies being wasted on the legislature and even the executive, one has no choice but to bury their sorrows in the last bottle.
When one thinks of the opportunities one has lost, they bury their spirit in the last base.
When one lines up to use the grimy toilet, one cannot but have a smoke. When one eventually enters the toilet, one needs the cigarette to force out the shit and of course deodorise the place.
When one has to wait for the traffic logjam to subside so that they can then proceed to their dirty overcrowded hovels, one needs the last bottle.
If one has to go into a mortuary to retrieve the corpse of a pal who died of kwashiorkor, one needs a cigarette to ward away the spirits of the various dead people.
By the way, we do not see any reason why alcoholic drinks and tobacco products should be taxed to pay for services which nonsmokers will enjoy. If the tax will be used to provide lung cancer research institutes, we wouldn’t mind. Even, such tax could be used to provide rehabs for drunks.
For all the above mentioned reasons and more, let it be known that the joint working committees of the associations of drinkers and smokers are pleading with government to reconsider its stand!
PS: Let’s hope the tax doesn’t end up in some animal’s stomach!
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