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Nigerians have various exciting records. I’m surprised that the Guinness Book of Records publishers have yet to award the Nigerian people an award for setting the highest number of records.
I hope they aren’t trying to be like the organizers of the whistle-blower policy who insisted that the guy must go to Aro or Yaba apa osi, both famous psychiatric facilities, before he gets his millions.
Let’s start with religion, there’s no gainsaying the fact that Nigerians are the most religious people on mother earth.
Another record is that Nigerians are the most godless people on earth. I know Nigerians living in Nigeria do not need to be convinced. They are living with various ills in the country.
By the way, added to the fact that Nigerians are the most religious on earth is the other belief that Nigeria has the highest number of churches per kilometre on earth.
Of course, it is a given that Nigerians are the happiest people on earth. If no less a personality than the great Africanist, Fela Kuti can wax a record titled, ‘Suffering and shmiling’, it is more or less a fact.
Nigerians are also the most educated group with the highest number of illiterates. I’ll use Abeokuta, where I reside, as an example. Despite the significant number of educated people in this city, people hardly respect elementary traffic rules. If you happen to be at a zebra crossing and you stroll across the road expecting vehicles to stop for you, OYO, you are on your own. Many more serious law infringements are committed in every other part of the country daily.
Another one is whether or not Nigerians are the dumbest people on earth. We are so many and we allow a minute percentage of our population to be lording it over us. At one time, it was the military. Now, we have civilian masters.
Nigerians have set another record in the oil industry. We produce crude oil and export it. We now import refined petroleum, diesel, kerosene, and other byproducts. Our peculiar wisdom is thus making money flow around the world.
We should be given an award for keeping the world a global village. If we refine our oil here, the economies of the countries that refined it for us may not be the best for it.
There are talks that the government is trying to stop rice importation in favour of local production and sales. That is good, but it might disrupt our record of being the highest rice importer.
Look around you; other records are being set daily. For instance, the Nigerian Senate will certainly set another record if the singing senator releases his ‘A je ku iya’ CD.
Nigerians are not doing too badly in greeting people. In other climes, it is at the end of the year that they greet people, ‘Happy New Year!’
However, since surviving each day in Nigeria might be a record on its own, we now have greetings like,
How was your night?
Happy new day!
Happy new week!
Happy new month!
E ku recession o!
E ku resignation! etc., etc.!
Don’t you think the Guinness people will be sueable if they persist in their non-recognition of Nigeria as the country with the highest number of records?
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