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Was it not yesterday that it occurred to me that Nigeria might get an award as soon as possible?
Everyone, I beg your pardon.
I forgot to tell you that the publishers of the Guinness Book of Records are considering leaving their base for the first time.
Where will they be going to?
Nigeria, of course!
They have had enough of the newsy happenings in Nigeria getting to them as reported news. They really want to be a part of the action.
For instance, check out our governors. Are they not performing well? Indeed, they are the best set of governors this country has ever produced.
We’re really enjoying their action-filled rules.
Is it the one that decided to honour heads of state by erecting their statutes and inviting them over to unveil those statutes? Who had ever thought of such a fine idea?
I understand he has even appointed his own sister as a commissioner to a very interesting ministry: that of happiness and couple fulfilment. What a post!
Pikin no fine im mama like am!
What about those in charge of a university who supervised its closing down? Why won’t they? Are their wards schooling in Nigeria?
What about the one who demolishes structures for roads? He even destroyed some historical buildings. However, of all the roads that lead outside the state capital, only the one undergoing perpetual construction is manageable.
What about the so-called model schools he established? At the last count, only one of the schools was functioning. Another is slated to be used as a technical college. Some people have said he should move some of the existing schools to where the model schools are to be sited.
Another one is a lover of pupils. He recently organised a test for teachers. More than two thousand of these teachers were said to have failed an examination meant for primary four pupils. The examination itself has become embroiled in controversies. According to a source, even the names of dead people appeared in the results.
His solution is simply to sack them.
I would have thought that if something affects more than two thousand people, it is a system failure.
Apparently, his love for the pupils has made him forget that.
I can go on and on about the good works our governors are doing. But I must not forget the ponmo merchant.
That one is a welfarist. He is busy sewing clothes for a whopping ten thousand children for Christmas. This will save their parents the trouble of having to buy the traditional Christmas dress for their wards.
I am sure he will give each of the parents a measure of rice and a chicken for Christmas. Of course, as soon as the state’s finances are good, he will pay the parents’ salaries.
One has even repented. He said he would pay the workers’ salaries with the federal government’s bail-out. Maybe that will resurrect the director who committed suicide.
With all the interesting our governors are carrying out, why should we ask questions?
Something keeps reminding me that a people certainly deserves its ruling class.
May the irrepressible souls of Tai Solarin, Gani Fawehinmi, Michael Imoudu, Ayodele Awojobi, Fela Kuti, Beko Kuti and others who could not keep quiet while our people were suffering continue to rest in peace!
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